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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Today is my birthday. RIP EAB

I get an phone call on Monday afternoon from the Ex's wife. Ok, she's good people in my book, a real trooper, we get along fine. She tells me she has bad news....after battling various health issues, Nats Aunt and Uncle, both in their 70's, ended their lives on Monday morning, up in MI as well. -the oldest of 4 kids, Cindy was looking in on them and found them. Cause of deaths pending autopsy.

Today, I'm feeling somewhat ok, not my best-I reamed DH last night about (issues), felt really bad afterward.

Then Nats came home from a shopping trip with her girlfriend BT, and gifted me with an iPad 2 for my b-day!!! WHOOHOO, right? I stayed up until 2:30am configuring emails, reloading all my apps that are on my iPhoney and "the Cloud". I got 4 hours sleep before waking up to see her drive off to work, without my usual good-bye. My bad. I felt horrible for not getting up earlier.

Today, after a ride to town to get avocados for tacos, etc, I sat down at my desk to begin another work day. I glance at the Inbox and I see an email that reaches out and grabs my eyeballs and yanks them out of my sockets.

EAB RIP My Beautiful Wife

It's from E's husband, Fred. EAB, short for Elizabeth Ann Bradley. I call her E~

I'm reading, thinking to myself, it's a joke, right? keep reading, naaaahhhh, it's another one of those spam emails asking, no begging for me to send all my earthly wealth to some poor soul how left his entire inheritance somewhere in S. Africa.
I keep reading, my brain isn't registering the contents. I AM NOT READING THE WORDS. I scroll to the bottom, and in big bold beautiful living color, a picture of E~


Image

E ended a long batter with depression last Sunday, on their way back from their winter trip to the West coast and back up to MI. They got to FL, and she ended her life there. I am devastated...I cried uncontrollably for nearly 30 minutes. Mike never heard me.

This pic was taken 3 days before her life ended.

As I look at this picture now before me, bigger than life, I see her eyes are not looking at the camera. They are looking to the horizon...what were you thinking about, E????

and WHT IS UP WITH MICHIGAN, is it the freaking Bermuda Triangle????

Hey, E? If you're if you're out there, if you're listening, Honey, let me know what you find out, please? And give Mr. Churchill a big HEY HO! for me~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm keeping busy, I never felt so drained. My heart hurts. People don't realize what this does to loved ones left behind. I'm going to become a Families Left Behind Advocate. This is insane.

E: I will miss our emails and the political rants, the photos of the "fur-babies", the cross-country trips in the RV, the threats of someday showing up at our doorstep. "No worries, we have running water, bring it!"....

I love you, and will miss you, Old Friend,

see ya around the bend....

S~


4 comments:

  1. Wow, not the Bermuda triangle but the black hole that some people just can't crawl out of. So sorry for your losses. Joan

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    1. Thanks, Joan, no kidding. See ya Wed at Knitty group :)

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  2. What a week you've had. How sad for everyone in your family. Suicide is such an awful thing. About 8 years ago we had a student shoot himself in class, and of course, he died. Nobody could understand what was going on in his 7th grade head. I don't think it matters if the person is 12 or like E, older. There is no answer, just questions. Hugs to you. And to E, and A (our student) and everyone else, we just have to ask; what in the world were you thinking?!

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  3. Thanks GF, you know it. So sorry u had to experience such tragedy. To be so young, and feel so hopelessly alone and lost, is the ultimate sadness. Big hugs to you, my Friend xoxoxo

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